When Love and Hate Collide

Had the first really unpleasant encounter with a street seller (which up to now have just been only annoying). I had been in Arusha Saturday meeting the other volunteers, as well as getting a package from my sister, so Sunday was having some quality hang time with Franatee. Had a nice lunch and then decided to go grocery shopping. As we came out of the store ladden with supplies, this little weedy guy with cloudy eyes stumbled up to me and started trying to sell me 'paintings' (they looked like colour printed scans. I kept politely refusing to buy until he decided to go for the big guns. He started telling me I was selfish, that I eat my wife's food (how did he know??), just a rich selfish greedy guy. I was like 'Excuse me??' and he kept ranting on how selfish I was. I told him in Swahili he was being unfair and that I lived in Moshi ie not a tourist but he didn't care. I told him I was volunteering but again he wasn't really interested...I think he was on something. Francoise and I by this stage were both in a 3 way yelling match about how mybaya sana 'very bad' each person was. We then made an exit in a taxi. Francoise told me her and a doctor friend had run into that guy before and he had tried the same routine. Calling a ex-pat doctor who saves malnourished infants lives daily 'selfish' is pretty...brave.

I was pretty angry. I could have taken the guy easily, he was a weedy little drugged out man, haven't been that angry for a while. But you know, the issue of what 'choices' the comparitively wealthy non-Tanzanians make in their stays here is a sensitive one.

The fact is comparatively I am filthy rich compared to 90% of the people I interact with here...but Im also trying to be a local (ie not a bank). Some visitors here hand huge sums of money to people on streets, waiters etc and from what I've heard it creates more trouble than good eg dependency, resentments in communities, expectations that all visitors to Tanzania should give giant sums of cash etc etc

I try to make choices that balance my priorities with sustainable altruism. I brooded that night on the people you can help here, those you want to help and those you make a concious choice to ignore.

Now off to eat some more of Francoise' chow.