9 to 5...

The coast now a dim memory its back to work, let's see what are the highlights from today:
-a staff member fearfully telling me that another staff member with heavy political connections is out of control in the office and can't be stopped...what am I, a hitman?
-spending all day rewriting other people's donor money reports so that they at least partially make sense. If I am responsible for spelling and grammar in Africa, this continent is doomed.

-and the finale:

Why are the swahili words for understand elewa and to be drunk lewa so similiar?! I meant to tell the manager 'I am relaxed because I understand' not 'I am relaxed because I am drunk'...I wondered why everyone went deathly silent...

time for a beer. not at work.


(no, I didn't dress in drag for work today but I might as well have..)

Pangani Part II

So, after the morning's snorkeling, I had the 'swimming fever' and while the wife read in the hammock, I stayed in the water. Couldn't believe how warm the water was, made Petone in Summer feel like the Antarctic. (Indulgent note-to date I have now swum in the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans. Seas I have been include Tasman, Mediterranean and the Dead). Finished the day with a seafood platter (groan..too much tentacular goodness..) and a crazily bright moonlit beach stroll with wifey.

The next day, Sunday, Franatee and I watched the blazing sunrise over the mangrove trees on the beach then wistfully packed up and left the resort.



(a wife and her possum puppet)

We had only gone a short way down the dirt road before we were waved down by two cops, one brandishing an AK-47. It was their lucky day. One of us, whom I will not name because they have been sufficiently shamed already, had forgotten to put on their seat belt. It was a fair cop.The hapless road-safety-cautionary-tale passenger stumped up the fine to the cop (the same amount as a speeding ticket apparently) and we got underway again, leaving the cop with a machine gun as he roughly pulled a Tanzanian out of another car. A seatbelt fine in Africa of all places...

We stopped in Tanga on the way back and waited an hour and a half for the best Indian styled fish curry in the universe from a place by the harbour. Its ruined any other fish curries for me ever again, it was amazing. We were stopped by cops AGAIN an hour or so later, again with spurious speed radar gun readings. 'Revenue gathering' indeed. They took our driver aside to beg for sodas in lieu of a fine. Our driver was unmoved and we took off again.

Some hours later, almost home, we stopped at the outdoor area at hotel in Same for a coke and a break. We knew there were monkeys in the trees but we thought they'd be cool with the dog that was accompanying us strolling around with us near them. We were wrong. The monkeys went insane. Trees filled with at least 20 angrily screaming monkeys, while their big surly leader came down a tree to eyeball the- by now unsure and steadily nervous- dog. We placed the dog back in the car before it was attacked. Some monkeys surrounded us humans from above, crashing branches and dropping bits of bark and fruit on us while others sat in a tree near the car intently watching the dog. We hastily finished our sodas and exited the area, little demonic furry faces screeching at us silently through the glass of the car windows..I'll never under estimate monkeys again. (In retrospect, eating the small bananas with our cokes was probably not the smartest thing to do either.)

(don't be fooled by their serene appearance-THEY ARE KILLERS!)

The rest of ride home past the sights of Africa was uneventful. Got back to Moshi under a red sunset. The colour of a monkey attacked dog's blood...anyway.

The last 4 days were some of the most relaxing days we've had here. It made the wife and I reflect on the fact that it had been a long, long time since our last proper couple-romance, non-altruism- related, indulgence-intensive holiday. Good to have a break.

But now its back to reality. And our toilet starting to leak again last night after at least the 10th visit of a plumber...sigh

Pangani Part I

Almost 5 months in and Franatee and I are beat. So when our American friends offered to take us to Pangani on the coast for a long weekend (and our first leave!) we jumped at the chance.

Pangani is situated on the mouth of the river of the same name on the East Coast of Tanzania. Its a village of about 8000 people with a strong historical Arabic influence. About 6 hours drive from Moshi.

Pangani used to be a historical trade hub both for goods coming in from the interior (down the river I think), as well as um, slaves. Yes the slave trade was big in Pangani. Lots of slaves and ivory heading out from Pangani to the Arabian and European Markets.

Nowadays, Pangani is more well known for the pristine coast running north and south of the village and amazing sea food. We planned to stay at the Peponi Beach Resort just north of the town.

So after a wolfed down pancake breakfast (cheers mke) we got on the move. Boys in the front, ladies and a dog in the back. I mixed a drink for myself (Konyagi and Fanta) and settled back to enjoy the ride. Set to Stevie Wonder’s ‘70’s albums of course. The drive to Pangani via Same (been there for work) and Tanga takes you through the vast expanse of the Masaai Plateau past the Pare and Usimbara Mountain ranges. It’s a nice road trip.

We stopped for a bite before hitting the road again...and abruptly stopping again for a Police checkpoint. A cop accused us (waving a UN donated radar gun that conveniently does not show the date or time of the recorded speed) of doing a crazy speed in a 50km area, when we were clearly going well under the limit. I’m sure the fact we were a car of wazungu had nothing to do with it. I have heard some cops here scam people by using a previously recorded speed on the gun, demand the 20 000 shilling fine, pocket the cash and tear up the receipt once the driver has gone. It creeps me out you pay cash fines directly to cops here. Some firm arguing and we were on our way with no fine.

We passed through the formerly bustling coastal port of Tanga. The place used to export a lot of sisal (a plant fibre for twine and ropes). The coast definitely has a different vibe to inland Moshi. The locals are a lot darker (maybe the crazy sun out here, I hear it is too hot to be comfortable later in the year), buffer (a fish diet? The fact everyone is on cycles?) and more Muslim influenced (every was wearing the caps and white robes).

We followed a dirt road for a bit and got to the Resort. Despite being a little overcast it was still surreal and cool to see the beach, waving coconut palms etc. We had a swim in the Indian ocean (pretty warm!) then chilled out with darts and cards. The seafood for dinner was unreal...that crayfish blew my mind. So fresh.

The next morning we got up ridiculously early to see the dawn (5am whereas the sun actually rises around 6am). Still, nice to see a huge sky filled with strange constellations. Franatee went back to bed and I settled down with the Ipod (Bowie) to wait for sunrise. it was nice to see the fishing dhows (East African boats) getting underway for the day's activities. The day dawned clear and blue.

After a functional breakfast, we selected our snorkeling gear from the office and got ready for a big adventure out to a reef as well as a small sand island. We waded out (in shoes as the rocks and sea urchins were sharp) at low tide to the dhow that was to take us. It was nice to be on a boat made from local wood and rope, that moved on wind power and people power.(Arr me hearties!!). (Franatee says that dhows look like old fashioned quill pens writing messages on the ocean)

The water was a little murky, but we anchored near a reef to try out the snorkeling. Franatee was a little unsure at first and unused to breathing through a snorkel- not being the merman I am- but she soon got into it and was flippering around like a pro. It was like swimming in a tropical fish tank; we saw more colourful fish in the warm waters than you could shake a stick at. And yes, I saw the 'Nemo' fish hiding in its anemone. No sign of the highly poisonous Lion Fish we were warned not to touch if we liked being alive.

After a time, we got back on the boat and sailed off to a small sand island 5km off shore that is uncovered and covered again by the tide everyday. It was a beautiful white sand spot with sapphire blue water.

We pitched a tarpaulin on the islet and while some had lunch and drinks I was desperate to get back in the water. After seeing some more tropical fish and a mean looking thin white eel, I saw a black and white Banded Sea Snake gliding along the bottom! Loved it, especially as I remembered writing about Sea Snakes years ago for a primary school project. (Fun fact-the placid though deadly Banded Sea Snake's neuro-toxic venom is 10X as deadly as a Black Mamba's!)

The wife joined me in the water as we swam hand in hand, spotting more fish. The finale was the school of black fish with white spots Franatee dove down towards and the little yellow and black striped fishes that curiously followed us all the way back to shore (must have thought I was a whale).

Also managed to pet one of the two octopi, the sailors caught diving off the boat (tonight's supper).

I had been warned that the island disappeared pretty fast under the incoming tide and sure enough as we all beat a hasty retreat clambering up on the rocking dhow, the waves came in and the islet almost completely disappeared in about 10 minutes. Freaky.

I made sure I was the last white person back on the boat. I just want that known for the record!

To Be Continued...

Under the Sea, in 1 day that will be meeee

So tired. Have a cold. Have a sore wisdom tooth. But the road beckons. We been been hanging for MONTHS to have some decent time off. 3 days by the East Coast in the village of Pangani. I want to see colourful fish! I want to eat lobsters! Palm trees! Snorkeling! Coral cuts and near shark misses!

One last day of work then tomorrow early we are off on the 6 hour American styled road trip.

Inventory check:
Seat Belts CHECK (later note-hmm...stay tuned)
2 big bottles of Konyagi gin CHECK
Dog CHECK
Wham's 'Club Tropicana' on Ipod CHECK
Colourful beach shirts CHECK
Pain killers for tooth CHECK
Bucket & Spade CANNOT SOURCE IN MOSHI
Swimming Trunks BIG OL CHECK!

Expect photos and the usual tales of sugar cane fuelled hilarity in a few days.


(better not freaking rain...we should be well out of the 'long rains' by now)

zzzzaaaaappp

Last night, I proved conclusively that a large electric shock will not in fact give you super powers, it will only trip all the circuit breakers in the house and make the recipient feel like they have been punched in the heart for the rest of the night...SOMEONE living in the house with me assured me the dodgy light socket put in by our dodgy landlord was off (when it was not) while I tried to remove a bulb...

So thus far in Africa I have been:

-attacked by a raptor
-crashed off my bike
-bitten by a turtle
-bitten by Siafu ants
-been electrocuted

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

Events occur in real time

My favorite event of cycling this Monday morning was the motorcycle which had died parked across a lane of ongoing traffic while the rider frantically tried to get it working again. Africa...I'm kinda glad wife's tyre is flat and she had to walk today.

Saturday, I coaxed Francoise to do an uphill run to an area she had seen on one of her field visits that had nice views of the surrounding area. She did warn me it was at least a 2 hour run away. We ran uphill about 45 minutes solid then the rest was a blur of walking, panting and half jogging constantly going uphill over hard crater-like dirt roads. Past coffee plantations, a long line of coffin makers near a local hospital, children begging for money or sweets and people busting their guts laughing at my attire. I was wearing the classic kiwi black singlet in the interest of cultural exchange and locals found it hilarious. After a long time, we finally reached our destination, Kibosho Hospital 1400 metres above sea level on the slopes of Kili. It was a bit cloudy but still spectacular views of forest and plains stretching out towards the mountains in the distance.

(shattered)


(Found a nice Catholic church and seminary near Kibosho hospital)

The long walk back (we were too sore to run) was 4 hours of agonised trudging, all the while having to be upbeat for the countless well wishers and locals wanting to say hello. We collapsed in a bar not far from home for sodas and our first experience of the local culinary delight 'chipsy mayai' which is an oddly addictive omelet and fried chips combo. We finally got home, showered then had sun downers at a friend's house. We had earned it.

Sunday we got up at dawn, as I had to bus into Arusha to find a dentist. My mouth's been hurting for a bit and I wanted to sort it out before I go away for a holiday this weekend coming up. Thanks Franatee for coming with me! Bused into Arusha and found the dental clinic (run by Seven Day Adventists) to be surprisingly modern. I did like the radiation suit style vest I had to wear though for their old clunky X-Ray machine though. The Tanzanian dentist looked like he was going to cry for joy to see my pampered well kept teeth. Good old Hawkes Bay fluoridated water.

So the issue is I have a wisdom tooth (my last one left dammit!) impacting above the gum line...its too high up to do anything yet...I'll have to go see the dentist again in 2 or 3 months. I really, really, really don't want dental work done in Africa. Is that cool?

Ah well, what will be etc etc

Fitter, Stronger, More Productive

So...if a co-worker is positive for malaria and is back at work and there are mosquitoes flying around them and others in the office, is there a real risk of a killer disease spreading? Would it be cool/justified to ask that person to stay away from work or is it just a background risk in Africa (given many African adults have immunity to malaria due to exposire as children). (Shrug)Whatever, Im just glad wifey and I are on anti-malarials.

This weekend sigh I suppose I should do another run. Plus I really should go to a dentist for an ache. One of the fancy dentists in Arusha, not the Moshi lurking nightmarish teeth-pulling-happy, equipment lacking, dental conscripts I have had numerous people warn me about.

'Say AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

No yellow card was issued by the ref for any player

1) Trying to heat oil (to cook a rare meal for the wife) in a thin based pot on our pre industrial age gas stove, I left the pot too long and with a huge gout of flame, it ignited. I put water on it to put it out...rookie move..the water made oil spray up, I got some in my face and run screeching out of the kitchen to wash my face in the shower, while my wife watched calmly on. I did finish the meal. It was ok.


2)-After 'cooking' went out with a couple of Americans to play some pool in a local bar. While heated arguments rolled on between them about whether the New York Yankees sucked or not and whether to play American or Tanzanian rules at pool, I played my worst game of pool ever in Tanzania. It was shocking. I was missing elementary shots. Not even the novelty of a gaggle of local prostitutes sidling up to chat could cheer me up. I was morose.

3) Finally this morning, as we were biking, the wife realised her tire was flat and while trying to come to a safe halt, instead of safely following me down a dip off the road, she tried to dismount on the edge of the dip and thus slowly fell down in a heap. Wife was not impressed when I made comparisons to recent acting by 'injured' players in the World Cup, nor when I began an exhaustive Warren Commission style report to determine fault in her accident. I note I did follow this up, (Mke(wife) says '20 minutes later' :-() with some TLC and she's fine.
Mume mbaya (bad hubbie)

Mke further adds:
As I fell off my bag impacted with the ground setting off the radio on my mobile phone, so the sympathy from the bystanders was mixed with bongo flava music. Then when I got to work I found Nivea cream had sprayed out in my bag and spilled everywhere...at least the bag smells nice now!

'Come with me if you want to live'

What's more bad a$$ than cycling to work over bone jarring dirt roads, avoiding chickens and people carrying heavy loads on their heads before racing at speed through congested roads,roundabouts, climbs and dips choked with buses, cars and motorcycles with no regard for either cyclists, driving to conditions, indicating, sharing the road with other road users, (in other words basically the road rules?)

Doing it all with only one functioning pedal, while frantically trying to keep the other loose pedal from falling off the bike at an inopportune moment.


Human Casualties: 0.0

Sad, bombing in Kampala, Uganda kills at least 60

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/07/12/uganda.bombings/index.html?hpt=T1&fbid=nurIK3Iu_3q

Hope the staff at our regional office in Uganda are alright...kind of wierd to have grenade attacks (Rwanda) now bombings in Uganda relatively geographically near...thank Mungu that Tanzania is peaceful and stable.

Cobras!!!!

(Maasai territory north of Arusha)

So tired..its been an exhausting couple of weeks for the wife and I both really busy. She with reports for donors and me drafting a application for EU funding for a Child Rights Project. So come the weekend and knowing we had to go to Arusha anyway to pick up our allowance, we thought what the heck, let's do the Messerani Snake Park! The park is about an hour north of Arusha, its nice dry, rolling grasslands with lots of Maasai tending their flocks of mbuzi (goats). We had a nice Mzee (older guy) taxi driver who knew a lot of the history of the area to take Franatee, I and another kiwi volly off the see the nyoka (smakes). He had worked in telecommunications for years all over Africa, high up fixing the tall communications towers, so really interesting.

Passing the Arusha airport (where people fly off to game parks in rickety WW2 looking planes) we got to the Snake Park and got to business. The snakes were livelier than ones I'd seen in a South African snake park in 2008, twas cool. Especially cool to see a pair of jet black spitting cobras, but I could not get to spread their hoods and attack..sigh

(I think this is a puff adder. Slow moving but gives a huge (fatal) dose of hemotoxic venom if annoyed)


(Franatee adopts a pet to introduce her budgies to)

The highlight for me was the random camel ride wifey and I got a chance to do. A camel is a weird thing to ride, this strange rolling motion and as it gets up and sits down you think you are going to pitch forward and break your neck. But once you get used to the gait, its relaxing to trot along on this bored and bad tempered looking beast.


Our taxi driver was waiting for us, so we had a chilled ride back to Arusha (save for the thieves-heavy area near the bus terminal where all windows get wound up or rings, mobile phones etc get whisked off) then the cramped bus trip back to Moshi.

Sunday, we did another killer hour run in the noon sun into the hills, deflecting the children wanting money and sweets. The wife is much friendlier and patient than I with people wanting things. However I think I might actually be getting fitter with all the biking and running...but this didn't stop me feeling like fainting when I got home from the heat, think I overdid it a bit...Sunday night was the Cup Final with chums drinking Dutch gin in sympathy for the Netherlands.

So yeah, another fun weekend. Now its Monday and back to work..

And...action

It's actually a bit chilly today. Comparitively. Im so used to the oppressive heat of Moshi that when it gets down to 15 degrees (ie a normal spring day in Wellington) I feel freezing.

So I can't decide between having Danny Boyle, Quentin Tarentino or David Lynch direct the film about this year. Do I want a breathlessly frenetic and exotic mix of fantasy and reality 'Slumdoug Millionaire?' Or a gun and sword play heavy tale of revenge set against the backdrop of Moshi 'Kill Doug'? Or a surreal non-linear exploration of dreams of Africa versus reality 'Lost Highway...and street signs'
Coppola?
'Dougpocalypse Now'?

No, Im going to play it safe and stick with Spielburg. He can capture Tanzania's wide eyed fun, danger and crowd pleasing action setpieces featuring giant rolling boulders. I mean, the whole tank chase scene in 'IJ and the Last Crusade' is pretty much a template for trying to catch up to, get on board and fit in a local bus here.

It's a nice day for a White Wedding

Franatee writes:

On Tuesday (22 June) my work mate and I headed out to Hedaru and Ndungu (in the Same area in the Kilimanjaro region) to finish off animal husbandry training and assessments of the income generating projects our organisation had been responsible for.

It was a bit of a drive and we arrived at Hedaru by about 11am. I was not much use at the training which was all in Kiswahili but as usual I did the obligatory stand up and introduce myself in Kiswahili thing at the start which was well received by the villagers. Gotta up my game with the local language!

During a break I got to see a wedding taking place at the church next door to the training venue. It was pretty cool.


The church hadn't finished being built and there was a make shift set of steps at the entranceway. There were a lot of missing doors and windows which made the church rather open-air. When the bride and the massive wedding party arrived they look about half an hour to walk down the aisle. It wasn't a long aisle. They were doing this kind of boogie-step thing which meant they moved about 2 centimetres with each step. I guess it meant no-one missed their chance to see the bride! While the wedding party walked down the aisle the MC was saying things in Kiswahili "walk slowly," "here she comes," "isn't she a mrembo (beaut)" etc.

We finished up the training (having to drop a lady off at the local hospital part way through – she was okay just high blood pressure) and the wedding festivities were still going! As we drove off we saw the bride and groom in a cart on the main road with the guests running alongside.

The following day we travelled to Ndungu to assess the income generating projects. On the way we journeyed through an area called Gonja. I've never been to Samoa but I thought it looked a bit like how I'd imagine Samoa would, but minus the ocean. Our journey was interrupted while we waited for a tree which had been cut to fall on the road was moved and then we were off again, completing the journey to Ndungu.

Ndungu felt very isolated and was a bit windy (not as windy as Wellington). We completed the assessment then visited one of the fish ponds our organisation had helped set up. It was next to a school. As I looked at the pond five little local children came to join me. They were very cute and I got the obligatory "mzungu! How are you? Good morning" (it was late afternoon ;-).

My colleague and I headed for home feeling pretty tired. We cut through the Mkomazi game reserve and I'm pretty sure we saw my first armadillo as well as a mongoose. We weren't really stopping for sight seeing but I had to take some shots of the baobab trees. The park has some low bumps and unfortunately we took one of them too fast. It was a bit scary. We got thrown around a bit and I hurt my neck. Now I get why airlines have that brace position thing going on. We reached Same, grabbed a quick bite and headed back to Moshi. Another day of work done.

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Wikendi kubwa (big weekend)

It started Saturday with an attempt at a long run in the heat of the day. Nice views of Kili in the background, as the wife and I ran through a school, cornfields and up into steady gradient behind the town.



Then the heat got too much for me, I gave up, wife kept racing on, wife ran back, I didn't want to run no more, 'you know I can't run as fast as you' etc etc After a lot of debating and whining (on my part), we settled on a slow jog back to find a contingent of Kiwi volunteers we had hung with at language school in Arusha were coming to Moshi for to 'do the town'. We met up with them as well as another old friend from language school and headed out into the big smoke.

We started at an Indo-Italian restaurant for pizza as well as the rum one of us surreptitiously smuggled in (and got busted, so thus had to pay corkage). Suitably...happy...we left the restaurant, fended off a guy demanding money from us for speaking Swahili and tried to find a place with a pool table. Raced away from one place when they tried to place a monster tourist-sized cover charge on us and settled on the 'Cool Bar'. Inside a mix of locals and tourists gyrated to awful bass music, as me and another kiwi challenged locals at pool. I got absolutely destroyed at pool but it was still fun. I threw in a couple of trick shots. From that dive I finally got to go to a place I have been meaning to go to since I first came to Moshi: 'Club La Liga' a multi storied night club with searchlights outside (I tried to make one into a bat signal but its harder in real life), packed with locals and tourists in a smokey, neon wonderland. The wife and I quickly found a raised stage and pulled out some classic break dancing moves (I hope those photos are never shownn) We bumped into a gaggle of volunteers from Sydney, Australia that we had fun mocking eachother back and forth. Loved the taxi ride back at 3am with the taxi driver seemingly having a stocked liquor cabinet in his cab...only in Africa.

Next day, despite pounding heads we decided to take a 50 minute bus ride to Marungu to see the scenery and waterfalls out that way. Marungu is in Kilimanjaro National Park and is the start of one of the routes up the Mountain. It is a far distance above sea level, so nice and cool. Very forest-y so a nice contrast from the usual vegetation around Moshi. Marungu is a place a lot of tourists go, so we picked up a gaggle of children asking for sweets and a couple of locals insisting on guiding us to a waterfall. Despite us repeatedly saying we did not want a guide, that we were not going to pay a cent, they insisted it was 'no problem' and that they wanted to come along.

After a winding trudge up and down and round and round (I think those 2 locals were trying to justify why they were 'needed')we got to the waterfall. It was a decent size and the whole scene was pretty idyllic. It was nice to go for a swim-in nice safe, mountain fed water-and see rainbows forming from the mist and spray all about you. A great time just being silly with some mates. It started to get cooler so we started back, arguing with the now surly 2 locals now demanding to be paid money 'or else'. I had been ready to slip them some cash, till they started making ridiculous threats of violence...a bit of a sour note.

A cramped but pleasant bus ride back with a lot of celebrating young Americans (ie its the 4th of July) and the Kiwis said our goodbyes at the Moshi bus terminal. As always its great to hang with the other volunteers (even if they are South Islanders) and I'll miss them. Until our next adventure.

Bzzzzzzz

I will never get used to the monster wasps here...ever. Its been cooler lately as we are in 'winter' (ha ha Wellington) so wasp sightings have lessened. But today as I was just trying to peacefully work at my computer, this foul yellow and black beast droned in from somewhere and started hovering around my face, darting in and and back,cruel mandibles gnashing. I HATE how their big yellow and black striped legs look hanging down from their elongated venom filled bodies as they circle menacingly. They track movement apparently, my colleagues in the room assured me if I sat still and relaxed it would not chase me....I sat there for 2 minutes, beads of sweat forming before cracking and suppressing a shriek, racing for the door. I think I have lost respect in my African male co-workers eyes....but at least I did not get stung...

For those people who asked for a picture of the wasps, being always short of a camera when they turn up, I made a scaled mock up comparing the size of people to the wasps:


I will have nightmares about them long after I have left the Land of the Gods.