No yellow card was issued by the ref for any player

1) Trying to heat oil (to cook a rare meal for the wife) in a thin based pot on our pre industrial age gas stove, I left the pot too long and with a huge gout of flame, it ignited. I put water on it to put it out...rookie move..the water made oil spray up, I got some in my face and run screeching out of the kitchen to wash my face in the shower, while my wife watched calmly on. I did finish the meal. It was ok.


2)-After 'cooking' went out with a couple of Americans to play some pool in a local bar. While heated arguments rolled on between them about whether the New York Yankees sucked or not and whether to play American or Tanzanian rules at pool, I played my worst game of pool ever in Tanzania. It was shocking. I was missing elementary shots. Not even the novelty of a gaggle of local prostitutes sidling up to chat could cheer me up. I was morose.

3) Finally this morning, as we were biking, the wife realised her tire was flat and while trying to come to a safe halt, instead of safely following me down a dip off the road, she tried to dismount on the edge of the dip and thus slowly fell down in a heap. Wife was not impressed when I made comparisons to recent acting by 'injured' players in the World Cup, nor when I began an exhaustive Warren Commission style report to determine fault in her accident. I note I did follow this up, (Mke(wife) says '20 minutes later' :-() with some TLC and she's fine.
Mume mbaya (bad hubbie)

Mke further adds:
As I fell off my bag impacted with the ground setting off the radio on my mobile phone, so the sympathy from the bystanders was mixed with bongo flava music. Then when I got to work I found Nivea cream had sprayed out in my bag and spilled everywhere...at least the bag smells nice now!