Warp Speed

Its 2008, I’m waiting on a flight to Zambia from Johannesburg and I’m fascinated by the destinations on the arrival/departure board. I say to the wife I would love to go to ‘Dar Es Salaam’ wherever that is...is it in Ethiopia? Tanzania? Really?

It’s 2009 and I’m pessimistically trying to find an affordable way to visit Africa again. Everything is ridiculously expensive. I chat to a mate while on a day walk about the possibility of me climbing Mt Kilimanjaro. He hoots with laughter...I dream of a big mountain a few nights after.

March 2010 and I’m stumbling down the dirt road away from our ridiculously hot, unfurnished, leaky house. I’m sick of seeing my wife getting savaged by mosquitoes and Tanzanians staring at me like a freak and I’m wondering if this is all just a big mistake.

April 2010, and an elephant is eyeballing me a few feet away through the open front car window. I can see his dirty tusks an arm’s length away. He’s beautiful, if alien.

May, and the boss is telling me not to intervene with the sick child being mistreated by her caregiver as it is too hard/sensitive. I ignore the boss and we get a win. The boss subsequently uses the girl for feel good PR material to show how caring our organisation is.

July and I’m walking over with the wife over the pre-dawn sand at Pangani, palm trees silhouetted against the constellations wheeling overhead.

September, I’m holding my bandage in place over the mugging stitches and anxiously watching the attempts to get our land-rover crashed in the vastness of the Rift Valley upright. I see the watching Masai woman smiling directly at me. Somehow that makes me feel better. Later that month I’m nervously gesturing at a Power Point presentation on child rights, hoping at least one person in the silent room is getting it.

An army of street kids watching me enter a casino in Mwanza.
Losing vision on the Roof of Africa.
Role playing Wills issues.
Waterfall dumping on me.
Riding a bomb (LPG canister bouncing, tipping on the full truck) to a new flat.
In a panic in the maize field, having lost my sleeping friends.
Making Masai bust their guts laughing as I pretend a trap door spider is pouncing on the wife.
The cheetah starts to sprint towards the Thompson’s gazelle.
Wife walking obliviously through a chain gang.
Dusk in Africa; my favourite time as creatures prepare for the'night shift'
Discussing favourite Wrestlers with the teenagers at the goat feast.
Annoyed at myself that my energy is not at the level of the 20 year olds I hang out with.
Running low to the ground as the elephant herd starts moving in agitation.
The car tipping/the minibus tipping/the bicycle sliding/near miss/near miss/near miss/near miss

The end of this time in Africa gets closer and closer and it’s all fracturing. One reality begins to collapse and another starts to emerge. Warp speed.