This post rambles more than usual. Got so much on my mind!
Almost out the door at our NGO,a day to go. What a time it's been. Like Kevin Costner in 'Dances with Wolves' I wanted to 'see the frontier'. I got to see it alright. Hasn't been the easiest 12 months that's for certain. But I guess it has also forced me to beef up my skills in areas like relationship management, presenting complex ideas simply and meaningfully etc. But a lot of it came down to being punchy-to pushing and pushing and pushing through other people's apathy/poor planning. As they say in the documentary 'Batman Begins':
'The training is nothing. The will is everything. The will to act.'
Did I make a difference in the long term? Buggered if I know. I'm not a development expert. Clients/partners need to own the solutions to make them sustainable. They have to want the outcome and to run with it once you are gone. So a lot of my work has been being a steady, discrete influence on people in charge for incremental change...Gently and slowly. Still so much to do, but lamentably I have a mortgage to get back to...I feel like my work has been less about 'big wins' and more about breaking the ground in or setting a small foundation for future work. That's what I tell myself at least.
Could I work in Development again? Hmmm. I feel very ambivalent about it all. That said, there are good people and initiatives out there that focus on capacity building as opposed to money dumping. I'm interested in micro finance initiatives: http://www.kiva.org/
I'm also still interested in the idea of sustainable human rights capacity building in areas of the world that needs it.
"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed." Steve Biko
I like the idea of raising people's self esteem about the quality of life they should demand.Plus I will never be free of an addiction to Africa. So, never say never again (that's a Jame Bond movie title, but it really happened).
Respect to all the Kiwi volunteers who are staying and keeping on with the good fight. But I'm ready to go. A humbled, slightly dejected, Peter O'Toole at the end of 'Lawrence of Arabia' who has outlived his usefulness here.
Like any workplace you leave I will miss the joking and fun times with colleagues. I'm happy I can point to at least 2-3 times when I did make a difference because I pushed. As I frantically finish up, my co-workers are trying to rope me into the big re-write of HIV training modules in prisons that would not have happened but for me holding a line. I'll stay in touch with them.
The good thing about human rights capacity building is a lot of it is intuitive to people-despite culture differences-just by virtue of our humanity. Concepts like 'fairness' and 'dignity' can be understood and run with (with the right inputs) by local people.
It’s been a fascinating experiment to work/live alongside the wife 24-7(never again). Has the crucible of this experience seems to has made us a stronger unit? Maybe a more hardened unit. But yeah, I don’t think we’ll be opening a business together anytime soon! ;-)
Lastly on a usual random note, Joesph Campbell, the mythologist, says that the common essence of the myth of the 'heroic journey' is that:
A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man
I have walked in a realm of wonder and terror. I will return to walk amongst you soon Kiwis. But I will be far less of a hero and more of a humbled squire. My quest nears its end, only a gorilla stands between me now and a raspberry bun from Pak n Save, Petone.
Skills exchange is dead. Long live skills exchange.
Manfred
PS
Updates may be a bit sporadic over the next while. Not sure what the Internet access will be like over the next while...wish us luck as we trek through the Ugandan jungle in a few days in search of 500 pound trophy apes!
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